Dating someone abused child
I have been beaten by both of my husbands and raped (only once, at least as far as I remember) by my first husband.
I am trying to not let the past experience of physical violence impact my sex life. I have been working with a wonderful, caring therapist ever since my second marriage came to an end, and I am quite confident that I won’t fall into the same traps again.
Finally, about eight years after it happened, I got sick of that.But I tried to draw the line when he wanted to take off the condom I’d put on him. I was so confused by it, because it didn’t seem to fit a “normal” definition of sexual assault.I couldn’t reconcile the fact that I’d said yes to the sex but no to sex without a condom.The older I get, the more I enjoy sex and the less vulnerable I feel.Perhaps it helps that I have learned to pick better and to say no.
Perhaps it is a cheap fix to try to shut out off my mind, as best as I can, those past experiences of violence.